Tim Thoughts data/rstats/policy

Citizenship Test

What do you mean, I failed the test?

I’m sorry President Trump, but this is the last attempt. You forgot what the 3rd Amendment was. AirBnB cannot give veterans a free pass, they sued, remember?

You can’t revoke my citizenship again! I was elected President in a landslide! I even manned the wall when the Mexicans came back for Texas, you ungrateful son of a bitch.

I’m sorry, I’m just following orders. You’ll have to report to the DMV within 3 weeks for your reclassification exam, just like the rest of us.

Don’t I get immunity from this? The amendment was meant to apply only to children of illegal immigrants, not current citizens. I distinctively remembered telling Speaker Cruz to add that to the bill.

No, the Supreme Court decided to expand the program. Chief Justice Ginsberg is still pissed about your weekly comments about her retirement. I really think you’re making it worse.

Never mind her, do you know what they’ll have me do? I heard Walker had to attend city council meetings for a year. Maybe I can read the Art of the Deal to inner city school children like I did last year.

Sorry, they’ve informed me they’ve got something different planned for you this year. You’re not going to like it…

(3 weeks later)

Hello my fellow Americans, or should I say, ex-Americans. Before I begin, I’d like to go on record saying that I had only intended to end the culture of entitlement of illegals in this country. Citizenship is something you must earn, being an American is more than being born here!

(Univision camera lights up)

Hace ocho décadas y siete años, nuestros padres hicieron nacer en este continente una nueva nación…

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